Yes it’s true, to build a successful relationship a particular skill is needed and if it is missing the survival of the relationship is dramatically challenged.
This skill is important for everyone, because everyone is different and without it couples struggle to feel secure with each other.
Security is critical in a relationship and this skill will help to build that safety.
The relationship needs to flow and feel easy and this skill will help the couple to feel that flow.
The relationship needs an underlying trust and this skill is critical in building and maintaining that trust.
Relationships need to be a place where couples can depend on each other, they need to know what is happening in their relationship.
Most of all this skill will help to bring a relaxed state into the relationship where the couple can be all of who their are with each other.
So what is this amazing skill? It’s the skill I spend most of my time working on with couples in both my marriage coaching sessions and my divorce prevention program.
The skill is the ability to REPAIR the relationship.
This repair skill is made up of many different qualities.
The understanding that we are all different and to respect our partners feelings.
The ability to listen to the meanings behind our partner words and behaviors.
This means really listening, learning, without judgment.
This skill of repair is made up of learning new ways to support our partners when trouble strikes.
What couples learn though their sessions is how to grow from their conflict. How to really understand each other, how to quickly remove pain and be there for each other.
What this does is very simply to avoid the automatic processes that moves couples to stack the resentments. Resentment if left to grow can move a couple to destruction.
Couples are attaching feelings to each other every day.
The question is what do you want to grow in your relationship, love and security or resentment and loss of respect?
