If your relationship is going wrong, why are you putting up with this? How long does this have to go on before you take action? Six more months? A year? How about 5 years, how will your life look if you don’t do something by then. We only get one life and don’t you want to get more from yours. You know unless changes are created nothing will change don’t you?
- Society says the reasons behind relationship failures are “presenting problems” such as: Lack of intimacy, stress, depression, money problems, arguments, children, loss, affairs, drink, drugs, abuse and controlling behaviours the list goes on…
These are the typical types of problems that many couples experience that bring their relationship to the brink of collapse and beyond.
If the couple decide to focus on what I call their “presenting problems”, the chances are they will go round in circles destroying the relationship bit by bit.
If the couple want to fix their relationship they have to focus on something totally different.
So when couples arrive at a session with me, my first job is to understand how their presenting problems are affecting the individuals. Then I need to understand how their individual meanings have impacted their relationship negatively.
Once I understand how the couple are experiencing the relationship then I take the focus off the presenting problems and move the focus to the real issues that have sat hidden in the relationship and are the main cause of their problems.
You see if you try to fix the presenting problems all you will do is mask the reasons the issue is in the relationship so it will happen again. For example if we didn’t fix the reason he had an affair the chances of him having an affair again are high. Or if the reason she became depressed wasn’t understood then she would stay depressed or become worse.
The source of why their problems exist has to be the goal for any couple to understand.
The chances of the couple understanding how to fix their source problems is very unlikely. In my sessions I help the couples understand the tools they can use at home to understand why they are experiencing their specific problems and what they can both do to fix their relationship without the need for months or years of therapy.
Most couples’ problems can be sorted really quickly.
The focus of the sessions is on Growth in all situations including conflict.
If you can both learn how to meet yours, and each-others needs consistently no matter what situation you will both feel confident, successful secure and less fearful of a future together.
This really is what it is all about.
So are you going to allow this to fester or are you going to take action? Click here
