Today we are looking at what happens in most relationships and how to avoid doing the same..
Do you remember when you met your partner and how it was for you? How you felt when you thought of them, how you felt just before you saw them, how life suddenly started to feel different and exciting again.
Do you remember what you did? The chances are you actually did very little, the chemical reaction within you created all the drive you needed to want to do all the things that convinced you and your partner to decide that creating a life together would be amazing.
When couples first meet they usually can’t keep their hands off each other and they create the illusion that this is how life will be. This becomes fact within their minds that they are some how unique and problems only happen in other peoples lives.
But then something changes…
The chemical reaction goes, and the motivation stops you doing everything that worked and fear and problems are now not far away. The couple then start hurting each other as they blame the other for the change. Pulling love away as a means to get back to the euphoria they once felt.
The couple that once put so much effort in to giving, have slowly become takers and this strategy never works.
If you give love to receive love then you are “trading in love” and that never feels good.
The answer is to give love regardless of what others do, you do this because this who you are… “A loving person!”
Defining who you are and living by your own rules and consistently and fearlessly becoming who you are is critical for your happiness. This is the real secret to passionate lasting relationships.
If you create an amazing version of you, that lives your life to your highest standards, you instantly become more attractive and happier.
When fear strikes couples, they pull love away, the couple instantly become unattractive to each other, the reverse of what they really want.
When couples come to me for help, usually blaming each other for their problems, one of my key goals is to build their confidence to be fearless in their quest to be who they really are. Not the distorted unhappy version that fitted in, trying to re-balance the relationship to feel happy again, but never sure quite how to fix it.
Becoming who you really want to be takes courage, but when you do, you’ll feel the spark ignite within you, as you start to create the behaviours that first attracted you both.
You cannot point the finger of blame at your partner if you have not been who you really are too. Stop looking for blame today and start looking for new behaviours that create relationships that grow and ignite passion.
- Too many people claim to be honest, yet they are not honest with themselves about what they have become in their own relationship.
