When the warrior first meets and falls for the princess he marvels at her beauty, he stands by her side looking after her, protecting her and loving her. Full of his love the princess connects with his powerful presence, his honestly and his strength for her.
She looks into his eyes and sees the future clearly, a wonderful life is possible with a warrior like this she feels. She knows this man loves her and she can see he will become a great man, so her future looks full and secure.
So the princess gives herself to the warrior and they agree to spend their life together. Every day the warrior goes into battle, his mission to protect his family.
She loves and nurtures her new family and she is absorbed with her new role, she is no longer just a princess she is now a mother and lover too.
Her time is so taken up with loving the children and he is out fighting battles to keep them safe, but an important change has happened and they have not noticed.
He comes home exhausted from another battle, she too is exhausted from caring for her family on her own. As he sits to relax and gets rid of his day he looks for food and desires her.
Today she rejects him.
The warrior and the princess have started to change, she keeps feeling unsettled, she feels he is not there for her even when he is there. So she feels disconnected from him and this scares her, so she goes to him to see if his love is still there.
The way she does this is she shares all her worries, to the warrior these matters are small and irrelevant compared to the battles he faces every day. So he tells her to forget her woes and he tries to desire her again, she is now furious.
Full of anger she rejects him again. She now looks at how she used to feel when they first met and how she feels today, she prods him and provokes him to notice her and connect with her problems. She wants him to see how she is feeling, the pain she in, can he not see what’s happening to her?
The warrior becomes tired of her attacks and his patience wears thin. He starts to become aware that another war is starting, but this one is in his own home, but in this war he feels powerless, because no matter what he does he is struggling to win the battle and in a rage he pulls his sword on his princess to shut her down.
This sends shock waves through her and now she has a new feeling, she is now scared of the warrior she loves. This was a feeling she never expected and now in extreme pain she moves to protect herself from him by emotionally numbing herself and putting up a wall of protection to keep herself safe.
Now her focus has changed, she can no longer go to the warrior she loves, in fact now he has stopped being the warrior for her. She sees him as selfish, weak and a bully.
So she feels alone and scared, from time-to-time her fears show up to test the warrior. She hopes he will wake to her pain, but he never does.
He starts to see that pulling his sword on makes her quiet, but it’s not the way he wants it to be.
She may now be quiet, but she is becoming detached getting love from her children, he feels successful in battle and so he spends more of his time where he feels good and that’s not with her any more.
In every man there is a warrior and in every woman there is a princess. They don’t understand each other and so they pick up their weapons to solve their problems and it never works.
Princesses are not warriors, this is the mans confusion he defends himself and attacks her and as if she were a man attacking him. Warriors must never attack princesses, unless he moves to protect her he will lose her bit-by-bit.
To all princesses, warriors don’t hear you and your desire to connect with him when you are upset, he sees your communication as a desire to criticise, control and attack he assumes your goal is to hurt him.
This confusion is the cause of domestic wars where no one gives the one thing they both desire most and that’s Love.
Love is the key, a princess in fear needs security and love, when a warrior chooses to fight for love rather than protecting himself from his own confusion of her actions he wins the battle.
The princess also has to fight for love, but her fight is to trust him and be open to him and see his pain. You see the biggest pain warriors face is the knowledge he can’t make her happy. When she doesn’t trust this truth in him his life feels hopeless.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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