So here is an interesting dilemma for this person they might not have considered. There is no question that this feeling is true for that person so when they say this they are being honest.
I have a question because this sentence “I’ve lost feeling for my partner” can lead a person to a life-changing decision.
So what is it that creates a feeling? Not just this feeling, but any feeling?
You see if the next part of my life is hanging in the balance and it’s based on a feeling, wouldn’t it be a good idea to understand how a feeling is created?
As each person is responsible for creating their own feelings so the better question is “what did I have to do to me for me to lose those feelings for my partner?”
And is the loss of feelings permanent?
To the person there is no doubt it will feel permanent, but it’s highly likely they won’t know how it was created in the first place so anyone in this place would feel lost or hopeless and give up.
Imagine running your whole life based on your feelings with no idea how those feelings happen or are created.
This question is relevant to every person I meet because no one seems to know the answer yet they seem to blindly trust the feelings they have.
Many will admit they don’t know how it happened. Many naturally blame their outside world, but with every event, there are a 1000 ways to experience it, but people tend to run their learnt patterns and call that the truth.
The moment we understand how are feelings are created and what feelings will consistently lead a person to their own inner peace and joy that’s the moment we take back control.
Then that person can start a new happier way of living.
They can step off the rollercoaster of buying whatever the brain says and redirect their thinking so they design their life so it leads them to empowerment and freedom.
People who believe their partner is to blame for how they feel will not be aware of the self-inflicted emotional prison that limits their ability to respond in a way that frees them.
The mission is to live a life that means you can be all of who you are, you must feel free.
Many don’t know how to create that freedom because they don’t know the feelings to choose and that it’s even possible so they live reactive lives where they are constantly powerless.
This is why they get depressed, they feel stuck and get angry, frustrated or sad these are all just emotions searching for better ways to meet their needs and none of it works.
So life becomes unwinnable and they feel hopeless so turn to easy ways to escape the pain.
One gentleman was horrified at the idea he was doing his depression to himself until he discovered he had become depressed as a low-level way to get love from his wife.
The higher purpose was he wanted love so he had to learn how to create that so his wife would feel it too.
I have seen people trying to talk themselves out of perfectly good relationships as a way to feel safe.
Feelings are powerful so it’s best to be the driver not the passenger because you may not like where they take you.
This individual work is critical for the first stage of helping someone become a more effective relationship partner, it’s why so many attend alone to fix their marriage problems.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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