The process of rebuilding a couple’s connection can only work when the process is about learning personal empowerment.
Love doesn’t regrow when the process is helping someone to feel bad about themselves.
When you help two people to become significantly better partners this naturally helps them with the power of positive influence.
You see the challenge everyone faces is they don’t naturally have the skill of positive influence.
The natural skill most have is the ability to trigger their partner to feelings they don’t like.
Empowering people to positively trigger their partner can lead couples to bring a more authentic energy to each other.
What I typically see is fear driving both people on some level to protect themselves from each other.
I totally understand the fear, imagine being in love with someone who gets upset at you and you have no means to positively influence them.
This is the kind of vulnerability most want to avoid, so they build a tower of resentments and this kills their connection.
This leads them to judgements, blame, and more self-protection.
If a couple is going to stand any chance of surviving this pattern has to change and a pattern of individual empowerment must be the model the couple adopt.
The biggest problem in most cases is a loss of trust.
Rebuilding trust is a process.
Rebuilding trust is accelerated when each person learns how to positively influence each other.
Positive influence helps a person to feel good and they will attach that feeling to their partner.
This means understanding what someone needs and what is emotionally important to them is critical.
Consistently help someone experience the emotions they want and they will naturally want the best for you too.
