Today I’m going to share with you one of the most profound distinctions i discovered when learning about how to build a successful life. My question was how do we take control of what happen to our lives, what’s the foundation to building a successful relationship, becoming successful in our careers and discovering our true purpose in life.
The answer I discovered is we need to make it our mission to master our understanding of our own internal worlds.
We are conditioned to believe and accept that our outside world is the driver for what we become and what happens in our lives.
This is an illusion that keeps us stuck, because if we feel our outside world has the power to help us feel a certain way then we are powerless within it. I will explain why…
What the most successful people on the planet have discovered is as soon as you master your inner world your emotional states change and this leads to success in all areas of their lives.
Don’t you look at some people and think how lucky they are they seem to have it all? Great relationship, lots of money, jobs they love. BUT this is not luck, they have the same 24 hours as every one else, they just choose to do something different within it.
Knowing that simple fact kept me awake for months as I searched for the answers I now share in all my sessions.
As soon you discover the emotional states that will bring you all you desire only then will you be back in the driving seat of your life and ultimate destiny.
I’ll give you a simple example…
If you spill a glass of water, the meaning to spilling the water changes based on the emotional state you are in at that time.
In a good mood you may just roll your eyes and laugh at yourself. In a bad mood you may think the world is against you.
Can you see meanings to the same event changes based on how you feel emotionally, the glass of water didn’t have the power to make you feel good or bad, you were the ones that made you feel what you felt. Understanding this distinction puts you back in control.
So the process of creating our lives successful or not is simple…
- The meanings we create shape how we behave…
- How we behave shapes what we do…
- What we do shapes our lives…
Now imaging if someone is focused on what is wrong with their life for a whole week. What state will be created and how creative, confident and powerful would their decisions and behaviors be that week.
Of course they would feel dreadful inside, they would focus more on whats wrong and a snow ball of negative emotion would consume that person and block them from thinking clearly.
Without clear thought their behaviors would be erratic and so their lives would be out of control based on the consistent actions they take.
Now image if someone was focused on whats wrong for ten years or twenty years what would their lives look like?
They would feel that how they felt was fact a based on the simple fact which is: They feel terrible.
Yes they felt terrible and that is a fact, but what they were not aware of is THEY created their translation of what their life gave them and it’s that translation that was responsible for those bad feelings.
No one gave them those thoughts they made them happen. Nothing or anyone else can make you feel a certain way if you are the creator of your feelings.
Understanding that you create how you feel, puts that person back in control. Back in control to discover what emotional state will create the life I really want.
Soon as you discover the gap between the emotional state you need to be in to be successful and the emotional state you are creating today, the sooner you will take back the control of your destiny.
The next step will be to learning how to master and control those states when life hits you and bad things happen.
This is your challenge, to understanding how to master your internal world. This is the master skill that will put you on the path to emotional freedom and inner peace.
This is the only place that will enable you to discover your true destiny and what you are really capable of.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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