If you are a regular reader of this blog you will notice the many factors that can influence a person’s feelings and behaviors.
One factor I have not spoken about before is how to help a person take back control of themselves through understanding how their internal chemical changes are profoundly affecting their feelings.
In life what we are all after is the feelings we want. We can use many ways to achieve those feelings.
I have spoken to many clients who really don’t know how their feelings are created but are using them to make life-changing decisions.
One of the topics this post will cover is how those feelings are driven by our own internal chemical responses.
For example, many people are unaware a person can become chemically addicted to meeting their own needs.
This pattern can really distort a persons perception of their world.
They won’t know what created their feelings.
They won’t know the specific need they are trying to meet.
They won’t know they are addicted to the chemicals that are created through meeting that need.
We are chemical beings and as such our feelings are driven by the chemicals we create.
We are all creating our own chemicals.
We all have our own natural pharmacy that with the right understanding we can control it to give us the feelings we want.
We all know what it’s like to feel that automatic surge of adrenaline when we experience a frightening near miss in a car.
That is one of the chemicals designed to support our survival.
Our focus and the meanings we put to that focus in the moment is creating different chemicals within us all the time.
A person crying is having a different chemical response to a person laughing, confidence, courage, bliss, peace are all connected to different chemicals and different feelings.
It’s one of the reasons our feelings can become so physical.
What many are not connected to is we can become chemically addicted to the way we meet our own needs.
So someone driven to be the center of attention has become addicted to needing that feeling of significance, they like people looking at them and noticing them.
In some cases they don’t care if the attention they get is good or bad at least they are being seen.
Other people can become chemically addicted to meeting a need for self-protection through withdrawing from a relationship.
Others can be addicted to anger, frustration, judging, blaming to name a few.
The problem is these chemicals are attaching pleasure to behavioral patterns that are destructive to a person’s real mission and happiness.
For example, a person protecting themselves from being hurt in a relationship will never experience that relationship fully and they could lead the couple into a substandard experience/connection.
They are now vulnerable to resentment, detachment, affairs, and need to separate.
So the freedom of true love and passion will never go to the depths of connection that is actually possible for that couple.
The objective of helping people to take back control of their lives is to put them in the driving seat of those chemical responses so they can at will create the feelings they want.
This is core to helping couples bring an energy that will magnify their pleasure and attach that pleasure to each other.
Sadly too many are magnifying pain and suffering as the complexity of what they don’t know is affecting how they feel and what they do.
So they can be their own problem for years, some wake up to this and some don’t.
This internal pharmacy is another influencing factor for couples that are really just looking for love.
Done right love is easy and safe, but for so many they kill their love without knowing or meaning to, and then they wrongly blame the relationship.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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