1. 70%+ of divorces are filed by women mainly due to loss of emotional security and emotional connection, both cripple their ability to trust their partner.
2. 100% of men I have spoken to over two decades do not know what emotional security and emotional connection mean.
3. You are NOT supposed to understand each other; thinking you should is the problem.
4. Sexual attraction in long-term relationships is created. It doesn’t just happen.
5. Many people are unaware that we do our emotions to ourselves, which creates a loss of personal responsibility and encourages a blame and judgment model.
6. Many protect themselves from a partner who isn’t trying to hurt them at all.
7. Seeing the past as a predictor of the future is outdated and will not lead to an ability to grow.
8. Becoming a victim of your past will keep you living there.
9. Relationships that have no emotional depth won’t ever have strong foundations.
10. Losing who we are in our marriage means we’ll never be happy in it.
11. Couples who do not understand their root problems will feel helpless as they try for years to fix the symptoms of the root problem, unaware this is a waste of time and damaging.
12. We don’t act as a team: Remember, if one person loses, you both lose.
13. Controlling a partner indicates their happiness is outside of them, so they will have no inner peace and will need to control even more.
14. Letting fear drive your behaviours will only bring you closer to what you trying to avoid.
15. The person who thinks they don’t need help is unaware of what they don’t know, which can, in the end, hurt them.
16. A marriage isn’t about you. Making the marriage about you will kill the connection and sexual desire.
17. Giving to get is a trade. The moment a relationship becomes a business, the end of their connection is never far away.
18. People with high expectations will always display low resilience.
19. Battling each other rather than battling the problem will always compound the problem.
20. Negative energies never bring about positive outcomes.
21. The practice of mind reading in your marriage will usually backfire.
22. The practice of blaming will make the person doing the blaming instantly powerless.
23. The fastest way to collapse a connection is to assume bad intent.
24. Resentment stacking is a clear danger signal because the next stop is emotional detachment.
25. Not arguing is as bad as arguing too much because there is no honesty and no passionate energy.
26. No passion for your partner outside of the bedroom will lead to no passion in the bedroom.
27. Not trusting your partner will create a person you cannot trust.
28. Ignoring your partner’s needs will drive them to meet their needs outside of the marriage.
29. If a man steps down in a marriage, the woman will always step up and then resent him.
30. Men who can’t find a way to fix a problem can give up and focus on what they can be successful at, such as their work.
31. If you cannot commit to yourself, you never successfully commit to anyone else.
32. Judging isn’t loving.
33. Relationship planning: If the future isn’t fun, interesting, exciting and meaningful, who wants to step into it?
34. If you have an expectation of your partner, you must be open about it, or you’ll set the person you say you love up to fail.
35. Always give more than you get.
36. Your job isn’t to make your partner happy; your job is to help create an environment where their happiness is easy for them to experience when they are with you.
37. Anger is an emotional punishment you give yourself for somebody else’s behaviour.
38. Becoming a worse version of yourself will never bring out a better version of your partner.
39. Being an amazing parent or great at your job are very different identities from being an amazing spouse – not knowing it’s important to become this identity is a significant problem.
40. Many women don’t know men well enough to teach him what she needs in a way that help him understand why she needs it that way – when men don’t understand “the why” they struggle to take action.
Each of these problems will cause significant problems on its own. Most people experience many problems on this list, which will compound over time and lead each person to feel lost or hopeless.
Please know there is a success path out of the problems listed above for those ready to learn.
